Y’all have some dilemmas meeting homosexual people. We know this because so long as we’ve had homogay ‘internet presences’ you’ve been inquiring all of us how to make queer friends/meet girls. We Have Now
responded you, periodically

But seemingly not periodically enough:

Although Laneia is actually confident she’s the sole lesbian in Phoenix (I’m positive it is not very, some body please back me personally up into the reviews), most of us right here on Team Autostraddle have a fairly healthy posse of queer pals. Or perhaps it appears that way once we assemble for homogay events/marches/parties/prides tri-annually.

We feel totally fortunate for this and therefore we have made a decision to get the soldiers and answer fully the question “how carry out we satisfy various other queers?” once and for all.


+ If you’re looking for a response for the concern “how do you strike on chicks?”, we now have an article regarding:

How-to Collect Chicks


+ thinking about “Best ways to date a chick?” We’ve an article for this:

10 Easy Procedures For Precisely Courting a Lesbian


+ interested in learning how to get a female to sleep more than? Coincidentally, we’ve got a write-up for that, as well:

8 Steps Every female takes attain a woman to Sleep Over


+ thinking about revealing an unique snack along with your unique new friend/’special’ buddy?

Top Cookies


Do you want? Why don’t we begin.

At work:


: GET A JOB! No truly. Go get employment. It doesn’t need as
a gay work
. Though I’ve had those. Tasks into the directly World are generally teeming with undercover gays. If you see a printer jam, wait approx 2 minutes and most most likely a gay girl will show up to fix. For me, normal ol’ tasks commonly top locations to generally meet some other homosexual ladies, whether for friendsies, FWB, or future partner content. If discover thinner pickins’ at Your Job, the much better.

Fit for a Femme

: go out where your pals work, if appropriate. Some one I know only fulfilled a pretty thing to chew on like that recently.


: If
your own co-workers know you are a homogay
, they virtually certainly attempt to familiarizes you with or set you right up along with their homosexual cousin/sister/bff/roommate/etc.

Shows for Queer Musicians



I’ve met many my queer buddies at
. Gay girls tend to be rather dedicated to encouraging their own local homosexual performers, so go have a look at multiple programs. Should your town features an all-female musical organization then that is a starting point, their unique shows will probably be filled with potential queer buddies. I usually find it easiest to produce pals using performers by themselves because you already have a reason to strike up a conversation together with them: to share with all of them which you loved their particular tv series. Question them when they’re playing after that, and check-out this 1 as well. Just hold participating.

Join any Club/Team That’ll

Have you ever as a part

Intern Hot Laura


Do you have a

motorcycle co-op

in your area? We gamble you are doing, and I guess you will find a lot of lovable women playing around with bike fat on their noses. Even if you do not fulfill anybody, you’re able to learn to develop a bicycle that’s a lot like holding around a lighter just in case a cute woman wants lighting just better as you can come their particular their particular relief and correct their particular broken tire.


: Join a

book pub


writing team


Do-it-yourself photos working area

– in reality, DIY such a thing would work.


Go to the

roller derby

The queer women are at the roller derby. Everyone. Roller derby is actually wall-to-wall lesbians and I’ve experienced countless women hit upwards brand new friendships as you’re watching a game. It really is quite easy to complete since if absolutely something that roller derby fans like, its revealing their understanding of the overall game with newcomers. Anytime there’s a group in your city, go see all of them perform. Saddle up beside a small grouping of cute ladies within the committing suicide chairs (where all of the significant enthusiasts stay) and get these to explain the guidelines to you personally. In my opinion might make some new pals right away.

On the net

We now have reported cyberspace many times given that most effective way to get to know some other gays. Obviously this is basically the internet, therefore we’re biased, but we’ve discovered a lot of all of our friends the following, or via Riese’s prior blogs (this is where all the group comes from — readers of her web log together with friends she found through those, etc).
We listen to OKCupid is actually something
, in addition.

Intern Emily


Get a hold of some one on autostraddle which lives near you. Give them the email. Try for a walk. Walks tend to be free of charge.


: It could be different now, but back when I happened to be a child (23) I taken care of immediately an advertising on craigslist w4w by a girl exactly who mentioned she ended up being bi, visited Columbia, played soccer, appreciated ‘420′ and needed additional bi women commit with and get friends and brave the scary queer globe together. Initially we came across it actually was absurdly shameful it had gotten gradually better right to “more comfy than I am with any individual, really.” We’ve been through quite a bit with each other — many existence levels! — therefore’re nonetheless pals today, and it is through her intrepid on-line friend-gathering that we came across Lainy, who found my
now-best-friend Haviland
on friendster immediately after which invited the girl to something which I became in addition at, that’s the way I met Haviland. So! The purpose of this really is:
craigslist might be something
? The key to it becoming non-intimidating ended up being that we both earnestly wanted new pals, yannow?


: discover a queer woman whom writes a blog site with a lot of feelings and deliver her e-mails regarding the emotions. Study publications. If the queer lady with a blog begins an online journal, help their. Accost folks on gchat. Once the queer girl with a blog has functions and introduces you to definitely her pals, end up being really nice in their mind and say circumstances along with your throat and vision. If one of them is very nice, write them a contact and stay their unique pal. End up being actually truthful and just take some anti-anxiety treatment. Don’t get an alternative life style haircut if you do not genuinely wish to. Purchase at least one v-neck. Smile.

Intern Emily

Begin a blog
. Write-in it for just two years. Just take a 3-day hiatus and ask for people in the area to email you.


Begin a blog
and then
create an internet site
following employ visitors to become your friends for free.


Put “queer-friendly” or “LGBT friendly” inside craigslist blog post and also the ladies will happen a-runnin’, with many homosexual pals of their own in pull. You kill like 40 wild birds with one stone and certainly will pay attention to Tegan & Sara

on a regular basis


In A Ladies Studies/Gender Studies Course

You should check away this index of
LGBT/Queer Studies programs
at universities throughout the nation! Also you should take part in class. Girls which participate are hottest.



Ladies’ researches courses are a fantastic location to meet ladies: every person’s practically a feminist already in order to have brainsexy discussions, which have been ideal for continuing in pubs after course. See yourself with those hot profs, however.

At your LGBT Campus Group in college or university or twelfth grade

It is Taylor’s NYU LGBT Cluster


: In school, before I happened to be really out or strongly identified, I started nervously going to a few occasions held by the college’s LGBT office. Fast forward annually and I ended up being running on-campus queer courses each week, and that I’d scored a massive posse of passionate forward-thinking activist gays, just like that! Before I worked for our very own LGBT office we felt very shy at queer activities, so if your own class features a working LGBT organization, looking at registering or applying and diving inside. The LGBT workplace became a second residence, which was ideal for between-class naps and conference hotties, needless to say.

Intern Emily

: visit your school’s queer club. It will be embarrassing. You may embark on a lunch date with a cute girl which gives her sweetheart. You may earn some pals though.

Gay Bars and Gay Events!

Clearly this can be a scary circumstance, but countless getting-to-know-other-girls at these pubs wont happen with one original embarrassing check out. You need to go back. And return. And go-back. And in the end you will have no choice but to feel comfy indeed there, since it is a place you go a large amount. Next perhaps you will consult with visitors or get 25 visitors to hug you for the 25th birthday celebration. It’s anything, you can keep rating on your own supply with a pen. If you reside in New York City,
GO mag has the the majority of comprehensive, up-to-date bar/event listing

Intern Emily

: head to a gay club. Get actually intoxicated and talk to every person.


When you’re at gay bar or lesbian evening, you will definitely consider thoughts like ‘nobody right here desires communicate with me’ or ‘everyone here features a sweetheart’ or ‘why tend to be lesbians thus daunting’ and also you must curb all those thoughts and protect all of them with a sensation hence new feeling is ‘whatis the worst thing which can take place, I’ll get rejected?’ and I also KNOW I’M SURE I KNOW that looks petrifying, as if becoming denied could be the worst thing that may actually ever happen to you as a person existence. But it is really perhaps not — the self-confidence is sexier than your own ensemble will ever be, and women are so unusual and have now so many issues/reasons to probably reject you that you can not simply take anybody rejection personally. Simply make visual communication. State hi. It doesn’t need to be intimate. Think about your self in her own sneakers and consider the way you’d desire the lady to address you.


: do not be a scaredy cat! Go to a bar/club/show alone. In fact, this is how I met my partner 5.68 years back.

Some General Techniques


Sarah Croce

: I had previously been bashful. My solution? Grow a pair. Figure out what is awesome about you and with confidence strike upwards discussions with random individuals. They don’t need to be gay. Quite often you will discover many girls are bi, or wondering, or have actually gay buddies. Direct people love to share with you they have gay pals plus they usually believe you ought to hook up using them like there’s some sort of gay drought plus order to thrive and save your self the lesbian race we-all need certainly to mate feverishly. It’s like they don’t really understand we can not procreate. In addition they usually ask exactly how lesbians have intercourse.


Start Small, Acquire a Lesbian Posse:

Jess Roentgen

: Create your very own Lesbian Posse. You merely need 1 or 2 different homosexual buddies to begin – let them know to invite added queers they understand (if you don’t have other gay buddies – they do!) and approach little activities for yourselves like dinner at a condo, motion picture night, bowling evening, ski/hiking day trip, etc. allow a regular thing you will have one thing to look ahead to so that as the weeks pass by the lesbian telephone tree will grow lengthier and lengthier and after a few months you will have your own personal Lesbian Posse.


End Up Being Brave:

Intern Emily

: regrettably, meeting new people implies you need to be fearless and approach all of them and talk to all of them and locate points to talk about and spend a lot of time obsessing by what to wear, etc. It is plenty of social anxiousness and you should take some drugs for that, but, you’re feeling good after.


End up being Conventional and Project Beyond Your Own Rut:


: Get outside of the safe place. I hear lots of girls worrying about it really is all the same individuals, alike women, wah-wah-wah. Drive to a nearby area, take that train underwater, motorcycle it, bus it, but do not anticipate to fulfill brand new, exciting girls by doing the same shit which has hadn’t worked for up to now.

Additionally, be old-fashioned. Imagine there is internet and remember what it’s like to be courteous and gracious and genuine IRL, and extend genuine invitations and cultivate real long lasting friendships. It is easy for things to drop through the cracks with internet-based associations; they should be nurtured for reals. Being conventional reminds people a small amount of what must be done in order to maintain the kinds of connections that people want!


Gays are every-where:


: keep in mind in

The Wizard of Oz

in which Dorothy realizes that exactly what she was looking for was a student in the woman backyard/home/heart your whole time? You are a gay individual, while want to do things/go locations. Odds are other gay men and women in addition enjoy these things/places and so are probably already truth be told there! Browse around the job/library/capoeira class/favorite coffeeshop/yarn store/whatever and most likely you’ll find queer individuals truth be told there. Like actually, if there are many than 10 people in the building its statistically totally possible that might be some other person there that is additionally a huge gaymo. You just need to be daring and communicate with individuals rather than be bashful about becoming homosexual yourself; might oftimes be extremely relieved and react in kind.


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